i am asian,i like all types of frens,sometime i go to clubs i see there asian avoide asian, only few number there asian couple i think ,just i want to know why asian become crazy with white and black guys?? its for sex? relationship? or any .....i meet many white and black guys who are really frendly wid asians ,but asian(not all) why hate asian and going to die for ....them...

Hi! I dont quite really know to properly approach your situation in a manner that it would not offend you. All I can say is frustrations are part and parcel of the daily life we all live in. It will all passed as you become more mature. Remember....beyond the dark horizon lies a clear blue skies! And it will always be up to you to make the most of your life.

quote:

Originally posted by just4_2night:
i see there asian avoide asian.

Only Asians can tell you why, but I can assure you that many Caucasians avoid one another too.

The reason I do not venture out into the gay world in Tokyo is that I am totally turned off by white skin!

KF

I guess one reason you don's see many Asian (or Japanese) couples is that the kind of guys who go to "gaisen" bars and clubs are expecting to meet guys of other races. If you go to non-gaisen bars, you will see a lot of Japanese who want to hang out with other Japanese or Asians. Maybe you can go to those bars and sing karaoke. It's so much fun!

wd

HI! Now I think that is a very nice idea to try.

good luck

quote:

Originally posted by Working Dog:
Maybe you can go to those bars and sing karaoke. It's so much fun!

I was under the impression that 一見さん　(ichigen-san/ first-time customers) -especially foreigners- were not welcome there unless introduced by a regular patron.

KF

Just great! Another form of let down for some disillusioned guy! This time I am saying I am sorry if ever I have offended thee..?

If I may be allowed to inquire, Arnel, what has been your experience with Japan and Jguys?

I ask the question within the context of this thread.

KF

It is just a spur of the moment comment comming from me. I remember you are one good at giving advices and one member of the group, a much older member gave an advice that sometimes all but a person need is a bit of hope and we must not deprive him of that. I surely hope see and hear from him again. Sassoka desuga. Jitsu wa. Daisuke desu. There no need to be testy or am I making a fool of myself again. Moushiwake arimasen.

quote:

am I making a fool of myself

Absolutely not. Your words were very wise.

Although I will live to regret agreeing with Matthew (since we disagree on politics all the time), I think he is spot on with his reply.

A very big thanks to both of you guys! But credit is due to the wise person who originally gave me the advice. The fact that his name is not present on the roster of members seems he might have cancelled already! And I am musing on meeting him again here on the forum. And also I have quite two things on my mind ....not offending KF since he is the main reason I why I begun renewing my ties with the group and two had I offended him more by writing the japanese phrases. I surely hope not. And before I forget...Tom! I have e-mailed you thrice and no response. thanks.....Matthew! And hold on to your dreams to the guy(borther) who originally posted this thread!

in japan dats may experiance wid asians so, i just wann.. know dat all of u thanks for post lil bit i understand about japan and japanes...hope get more knoledgw in future...thanks all of u guys...

.......don't mention it.......instead enjoy life to the fullest! You sure look like one happy go lucky fellow!

i've got to comment here

racism is racism no matter how much you couch it in "like" and "dislike" and try to make it sound better...

AND

"I am totally turned off by white skin!"
is one of the most horrifying things i've read in a long time.

dissapointed. dissapointed.

i know that gay people feel they must insert themselves into certain roles because it makes the world easier to understand...(and this is more difficult for us because we fall outside of the traditional gender/sexual roles) but when a gay man or a straight man says "i only like X." it sounds ignorant.

I will proudly say, now, that I like the person and, um, not the color of their skin nor the shape of their eyes (i've actually seen ads on sites like this saying "single fold eyelids only" or some such nonsense). we all have our desires, but part of being a mature citizen of the world is to fight the worst parts of ourselves.

why not, instead of making this a race issue,make it an issue of style or culture which is much more humane. OR we aren't talking about attraction but a FETISH. if you say: "i am only attracted to asian people" that is a fetish and should be regarded as such...but a racist fetish.

<3
boredofxenophobiaandapathy

quote:

Originally posted by boredinshonan:
"I am totally turned off by white skin!"
is one of the most horrifying things i've read in a long time.

Just yesterday, at noon, I was walking in the underground concourse of Tokyo International Forum and suddenly thought to myself how lucky I was not to be a pedophile.

I feel so sorry for pedophiles, because although there is no accounting for taste, theirs hurts the object of their desire, and that cannot be permitted.

As for me, sex with white caucasian males? No, I can't. With white women? Yes, I can and have.

It is my taste. I cannot control it, but so long as I do not hurt anyone... can't I be forgiven?

If my partiality is horrifying in your eyes, Boredinshonan, I apologize for disappointing you.



KF

PS. Arnel. You know I like you, welcomed you to the site when you joined in forum discussions, and have always been on your side. Your Japanese is just fine... I just wanted to know a little about your love for Jguys, what experiences you have had with them... because you don't reveal very much!

I think I've become over-sensitive to this since coming to Japan. I know that part of this stems from, well, some people not being able to fully articulate their views... though this isn't a problem for you KF, obviously.
(THOUGH you don't mean "white skin" you mean "european" or "caucasian," right?white skin is not descriptive--what color, then, is your skin? Skin color varies in all people regardless of ethnicity... So there are "black" people who have skin "whiter" than mine)

Anyway, I am glad to hear that you aren't racist.. though, I still consider that close minded. I know that I, myself am close minded as well--to be fair. I respond badly to men who are too "butch" or too "femme." I know this is a problem that I have...so I try to fight it and remain open.

(sheesh, I MUST be bored...i responded so quickly...)

Perhaps KF meant is what I feel - I shorthand my general lack of sexual interest in other white men by saying I don't date whites...although I am very attracted to alabaster Japanese and their Continental brethren. Because I am, for instance, American, I don't find many of them who keep my interest; I also have lived so long away from other Americans that my experience as an ALIEN can rarely be understood by others who have not had a similar stretch of trips around the Sun.

Or, maybe it is just that "beautiful golden brown" skin, as my 4-year-old Cambodian nephew refers to himself?

quote:

Originally posted by Bricolage:
maybe it is just that "beautiful golden brown" skin, as my 4-year-old Cambodian nephew refers to himself?

That is very sweet!

I hope your nephew remains proud of his skin for the rest of his life.

In my case, it is not really the color of the skin of Caucasians that puts me off but the feeling of committing incest. I can only describe it that way. It is not logical, because I find some "white" men in porn very attractive, but in real life there is a strange reflex that blocks me and puts me off them. I cannot control it.

Could that explain why some asians also dislike other asians?

KF

Just4_2night, thank you for starting this most interesting thread.

Although the current research in this area doesn't look at gay & lesbian unions, there are scholars who are trying to understand what drives racial preferences:

A survey by Mills, Daly, Longmore and Kilbridge (1995) suggests that both men and women hold negative attitudes towards interracial relationships, but that women are significantly less accepting of interracial romantic relationships than men are.

South (1991) reports that blacks and Hispanics are more willing to marry someone of another race than whites are.

And this one really caught my eye:

Mok (1999) reports a negative correlation between own-race population density in respondents’ place of origin and the likelihood of self-reported interracial dating. (I couldn't track down the article. Can anyone explain it to me?)

Another of note is Racial Preferences in Dating, published in the Review of Economic studies of all places.

The authors looked at subjects at Columbia University in the United States. (I would guess that because America has a reasonably good sample of a multiplicity of races and ethnicities, it is an adequate "laboratory" for this kind of research.) In their introduction, the authors noted

quote:

Interracial marriages in the U.S. are quite rare. The 2000 Census reveals that among married blacks, 94% are married to other blacks.

Members of other races are also unlikely to marry outside of their own group. A mere 4% of marriages in the U.S. are between partners of different race.

However, this does not necessarily imply an underlying preference for spouses of the same race: a final match (i.e. a marriage) is the outcome of a search process that involves both finding and choosing a mate.

Some interesting findings include:

quote:

First, we observe a strong asymmetry across genders in racial preferences: women of all races exhibit strong same-race preferences, while men of no race exhibit a statistically significant same-race preference.

We also find that subjects’ backgrounds strongly influence their racial preferences. First, we considered subjects’ state or country of origin, based on responses to questions in the General Social Survey (GSS) (for the subjects from the U.S.) and the World Values Survey (WVS) (for non-U.S. subjects). Subjects that come from intolerant places reveal stronger same-race preferences.
We also consider the effect of early exposure to other races.

Their controlled experiment centered around speed dating They found

quote:

Nonetheless, 47% of all matches in our data are interracial. While this is significantly below random matching, it is still far above the 4% of interracial marriages observed in the Census data.

Our subject pool seems far more tolerant than society at large. This is unsurprising. First, they are highly educated, and prior survey-based research finds that same-race preferences are negatively correlated with education.

I don't know what conclusions you want to draw from this, but they also provocatively noted that among the female responses, there is a greater preference against (interracial coupling with) Asian males by all other races.

Also,they noted

quote:

(Among female responses) For male partners, our main finding is that Asians generally receive lower ratings than men of other races.

In fact, when we run the regressions separately for each race, we find that even Asian women find white, black, and Hispanic men to be more attractive than Asian men.

And finally, they also tried to factor in things like attractiveness and things the participants had in common. They noted

quote:

attractiveness may play an important role in the determination of racial preferences, especially those against Asian men. We find even Asian men find white, black, and Hispanic women to be more attractive than Asian women.

(Insert your own theory of how racism creates self loathing here.... )

They conclude same-race pairings are the result of preferences rather than exposure to dating opportunities .

You don't have to agree with their findings. It is just one study. But if I understand their findings correctly, there is empirical evidence for Just4_2night's frustration.